Divorce is such a common thing in this day and age. So many married couples are so quick to pull the plug and give up on each other. I know that divorce is sometimes the best option for all parties involved. However, it is not always the best option. If you are considering divorce, take a moment to think about whether or not your marriage can be saved. If you decide you want to save your marriage, keep the following tips in mind:
1. Consider what you can be grateful for about your partner. Start a gratitude list for all of the aspects of your partner that you appreciate. Tell your partner what you appreciate about them and how grateful you are to be with them. Encourage your partner to do the same thing with you.
2. Communicate your needs. Divorce happens when one or both partners are not getting their needs met. You partner cannot meet your needs, though, if he or she does not know what your needs are. Be sure to communicate clearly what you need to your partner.
3. Try to look and be your best every day. So many of us start gaining weight or dressing in sweats every day when we get married. Make an effort to look your best every day. Try to be nicer. Try to bring out your best attributes.
4. Listen to your partner. Listen to your partner when he or she is telling you something. So many of us do not truly listen to each other, and it can make a big difference when we do.
5. Be open minded. You may need to go to marriage counseling. You may need to do something unconventional together like ballroom dancing. You may need to try different things in the bedroom. The important thing is that you stay open minded.
It can be difficult to be in a marriage when you sense that it is having a bumpy road. Sometimes it is easier to just throw in the towel. But nothing ever worth having was easy. It’s so much more rewarding when you can do the work to stay together. And in the end, you will be stronger than ever.
Unfortunately, there are far too many people who know what it’s like to have an estranged mother or father. You can become estranged from your parents for many different reasons. It may be a conflict of personalities. It may be that both of you are holding on to the idea of being right. It may be that you both disagree about politics or religion and you cannot seem to reconcile. Whatever the reason is, if you are estranged from your mother or father, you may want to reconsider. Here are a few things to keep in mind.
You Only Have One Set of Parents
Whether you are the child of a single parent, divorced parents, adopted parents, two mothers, or two fathers, the fact is that you only have one set of parents. Having conflict and a falling out with friends is common, and it can be painful, but you can always make new friends. Boyfriends and girlfriends will come and go, but your parents will be your parents forever. It’s important to value them for who they are.
You Only Have So Much Time With Your Parents
No one lives forever, and if your parent(s) die when you are still estranged, I promise you that you will regret it. You have to cherish everyone in your life as much as possible. You have to let people know that you appreciate and love them.
Forgiveness is Healing
Holding onto anger and toxicity is only poison for yourself. Forgiving others is not only healing to your relationship, but it’s also healing for yourself. You can have a much stronger sense of self, sense of wellness, and sense of piece if you allow yourself a chance to forgive those who have hurt you. Many of us have been hurt by our parents in one way or another, but we should remember that they are human. They are only doing the best they know how to do with what they know.
You Will Be Much Happier without Resentment and Bitterness
You will feel so much better in your own life within yourself if you are not harboring a lot of resentment or bitterness. The only way you can tell how you will really feel is to give your estranged parent a call. What do you have to lose? In these trying times, it’s important that we choose love over fear and value our family members.
As parents, we’ve all been there. Sometimes life can be extremely frustrating, and there can be so much stuff going on. It can be difficult to not let your anger and frustration out by yelling whenever you are having a bad day. However, you don’t have to let your emotions control you. Here are a few tips:
1. Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Do not say anything for ten seconds. Allow yourself to calm down so you’re not angry. Try not to be so reactive. Take a moment to tell yourself that you are not really in an emergency. Chances are, everything is really fine in the present moment. If you stop and become really present, you can observe your emotions, your thoughts, and your reactions.
2. Do not act or say anything until you have calmed down. It can be very tempting to allow your emotions to take the driver’s seat. You will feel a sudden urgency to act or speak, but you must resist. Set any boundaries or limits you need to in the immediate present, and then allow yourself a moment to breathe and respond sensibly to the situation.
3. Reprogramming your mind becomes easier. When you are upset, and you find yourself pausing for a moment before you react, you are actually rewiring your brain. You will not get triggered as often, which is definitely going to come in handy the next time you are having a difficult day.
4. Develop compassion for yourself and for your children. We are always focused on taking care of and nurturing our children without taking care of and nurturing ourselves. One of the most important things we can do as parents is to practice self-care.
No matter who you are or what situation you are in, you cann0t let your emotions control you. This is good advice for anyone to keep in mind, but especially for parents. As parents, it can be much too easy to let ourselves completely fall into our emotions. You have to remember to take a deep breath and to be present so that you can react with love and compassion.